Bertrand Russell said that “To be able to fill leisure time
intelligently is the last product of civilisation.” Lots of retirement books
stress the importance of visualising the next phase of your life as a blank
canvas with a palette of paints representing your various leisure activities,
interests and commitments. I wouldn’t necessarily advise this, because it isn’t
really like this at all.
You should, of course, already have some idea about your
plans and your likes and dislikes. But you also shouldn’t be afraid to try new
things that are out of your immediate comfort zone.
Another way to think of your future is as a sliding tile
puzzle and the end-picture as your perfect retirement. Half of the tiles are
already filled with your current activities and the other half are like blank
scrabble tiles. These ‘wild’ tiles, so to speak, can be filled in and moved
around once you’ve begun to throw yourself into new things and find out what
works for you.
It may be that your perfect picture is always shifting.
That’s great. Many people find frequent change in retirement liberating after
years of set routine. This new time gives you the freedom and autonomy to be
spontaneous.
If you feel like lying in when you wake up in the morning,
you can. If you want to lounge around the house smoking cigars in nothing but a
dragon-print kimono for a week, then I might question your taste in home
casual-wear, but it’s still absolutely your call.
What you do need to do is try to deal with the often
unavoidable element of guilt that comes with your newfound liberty. Keep
letting yourself know that you deserve this time, even if you have to say it
out loud to yourself in the mirror!
I asked 30 retirees to try a quick word association
exercise, writing down the words “work” and “leisure” in two columns and
writing down their associations with each. The results revealed a surprising
crossover. Words like “achievement,” “teamwork,” “responsibility,” “reward,”
and “goals” appeared in both, as these are all integral to our feeling happy in
whatever we are doing.
Whether it’s for work or leisure, the majority of people
want to do whatever they’re doing well. However, years of nine to fiving has
impressed upon us the idea that we’re somehow being lazy or unproductive if
we’re not at a computer in a grey office building, drinking very bad coffee.
Activities in retirement that effectively satisfy the
positive aspects of work (you know, the bits we actually miss) are the ones
that will keep us fulfilled in the long term. So you may find that sleeping in
and roaming around in a dressing gown can only provide relief for so long.
Retirement is still a time for achievement. Though if you manage to truly relax
during these activities despite the post-work guilt, you can definitely put
this down as a win!
What you need is a healthy mix of interests. They can be
easy or challenging; tried and tested or new and exciting. Just remember the
words of John Lennon: “Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted.”
Next week I’ll be not-so-tentatively broaching the subject
of “Sex: The Grey Taboo.”
