Monday, 26 November 2012

Seeking Permission...

After reading the below article in the Daily Mail, I felt it was my time to share with you my tips for great sex when retired.
In relationships we seek ‘permission’ for sexual pleasure from our partner both consciously, and at a subconscious level. The loss of a spouse or the breakdown of a relationship can make it extremely difficult to enjoy guilt-free sexual experiences, it is far more common in women of retirement age. If you are single it can be even more of a challenge to put yourself at ease and grant yourself this permission. 

It is said that the mind is the most important sexual organ for good reason. If you hang on to the residue of guilt following the grief of losing a partner or a messy breakup of a long-term relationship, then both your ability to form intimate relationships, and the way that you connect with yourself will be affected. It can be helpful to follow a simple self-focus exercise to rebuild your self-confidence and reconnect with your sexuality:

Step 1: Make sure that you won’t be disturbed, run yourself a hot bath, light some scented candles and enjoy the sensation of the water and bath oils on your skin – this is your time. 

Step 2: Touch yourself non-sexually, try using moisturiser and enjoy the sensation of caressing yourself. Focus your energies inward, breathe slowly and deeply, let yourself unwind – don’t fall asleep now – relax, feel yourself unwinding – don’t get peckish and be tempted to try and operate a toaster from the tub – after twenty minutes, or at the point that your fingers look like crinkle cut chips (whichever comes first), step out of the bath. 

Step 3: Dry yourself slowly; move through to your bedroom. Try relaxing with an erotic book and if that doesn’t float your boat, why not fire up a DVD? 

Step 4: Move on to touching yourself, if you don’t feel comfortable at this point – stop, and don’t berate yourself either – this isn’t a blame game and it is important that you give yourself as much time as you need.

Repeat this exercise until you can feel yourself beginning to ‘let go’ and don’t  be disheartened; you need to hone in on your sexual awareness, making yourself feel more at home in your own body, relishing the climax when it comes and not berating yourself if it doesn’t – give yourself time.